Deadpool verse Superman
by Dylan Rabe
Summary: A battle between Deadpool and Superman? Yes, it is happening. In this story you will get some good action and some great humor. After all, Deadpool is in this story. In this story you will also see who will win and what would happen whoever loses. Deadpool is arrogant and humorous as always and Superman is his simple self.


Deadpool verse Superman

Lex Luther, a man known to be Superman's enemy, waits anxiously for his contact to arrive. Knowing that Superman can't see through lead, he waits in a basement coated with lead. Finally, his contact arrives in his typical red uniform and two swords. He is ready to know what his new mission is going to be. Luther tells him that his next target is Superman. His contact says that he is ready for this great challenge. Luther tells his contact Superman's weakness and gives him plenty of Kryptonite to use against him. Deadpool is ready to take on his greatest challenge yet.

"I expect a lot of money," says Deadpool.

"Okay, how much do you want?" wonders Luther.

"Enough to get my stunning looks back. That's for sure," Deadpool says in an exasperated voice.

"How much will that be?" Luther asks.

"I'm not totally sure. How about you just give me a couple million dollars?" suggests Deadpool.

Luther agrees to his terms. Satisfied, Deadpool walks away from their meeting place. Luther believes that he finally has gotten rid of Superman but is that what is best for Metropolis or for the world? Will it be Superman or Deadpool that loses the biggest fight ever in Metropolis or in the world? I guess we shall see what happens next then.

Deadpool goes to his favorite hanging place the Sister Margaret's Home for Wayward Girls. He talks to his best pal, other than his hot girlfriend, Weasel.

Weasel asks, "What is your reason for taking this mission?"

Deadpool replies, "Because it means big money and that means maybe I can find a way to get my incredible hot looks back."

"How are going to take him down?" questions Weasel.

"Well, I think I will chop off his balls first and then he won't be a man anymore. That will make his wife disappointed. Then I will shoot his head full of Kryptonite." smirks Deadpool.

"Oh, yea, I wouldn't expect anything less from you." chuckles Weasel.

Deadpool starts getting ready for his encounter with Superman. He gets his all weapons and ammunition together and starts heading for Superman's home. He arrives at his place just as he and his wife getting serious together in their bedroom. Suddenly, they hear the floor creak and they look behind them. To their horror, see Deadpool right at their bedroom door.

"So this is what you do on your Friday nights?" smiles Deadpool.

"Why are you here, Deadpool?" snarls Superman.

"Well, actually, I'm here to chop off your balls and then kill you," answers Deadpool.

"Not if I do it first," yells Superman.

"Oh no! Don't do that! My balls are my life! Oh well, I will just regenerate them. Won't stop me getting babies. You, however, can't regenerate can you?" laughs Deadpool.

"That's not what I meant," replies Superman in an angered tone.

"Is your wife going stay here and watch you become dickless and die?" grins Deadpool.

"No, she is not," worries Superman.

"But, honey, I can't leave you alone," Lois says ever so calmly.

"I'm sorry, but you can't help me right now," Superman says gently.

"Are you sexiest, Superman?" says Deadpool sarcastically.

"No!" shouts Superman.

"Man, such a short temper," laughs Deadpool.

"It's ok dear, I know I should go. I hate it though that I can't help you though," Lois says at the point of tears.

As Lois leaves and Superman gets dressed, Deadpool checks his weapons and ammunition. Deadpool is not the type of to kill a mad naked. He is also not the type to kill man without a fight.

"Are you ready yet? I don't have all day you know," Deadpool says rather bored.

"Alright doushbag," angrily says Superman.

"Whoa man! Watch your language! You have to be a good example to the kids," laughs Deadpool hysterically. "Also do you want to take this outside or do you want to trash your house?"

"You are such a funny guy aren't you? says Superman sarcastically, "Fine, let us go outside then."

As they stand in an empty, quiet street facing each other. Superman makes the first move and charges at him. Deadpool dodges and tries to get him with his swords but misses. Superman turns around and tries to get him with his laser eyes. It scratches Deadpool but doesn't affect him much. Deadpool draws out his pistol full of Kryptonite bullets and shoots one at him. It hits him and Superman quickly realizes that something is wrong.

"What did you do?" demands Superman

"I just shot you with a Kryptonite bullet," responds Deadpool.

"Who gave you these? I know that you didn't get these yourself" yells Superman.

"Uh-uh, I can't give out information about my customers," sternly says Deadpool.

"Let me guess, it is Luther isn't it?" confidently says Superman.

"You talk too much," Deadpool says as he shoots another shot at Superman. Superman dodges this one and quickly moves towards Deadpool. Deadpool tries to dodge this charge but wasn't fast enough as he was hit on the right shoulder. Deadpool still uses his right arm because he has a really high pain tolerance. Superman again tries to get him with his laser eyes but Deadpool was able to duck down. Again Deadpool tries to shot him but wasn't able to get him as Superman moves out of the way of the shot. Superman quickly moves towards him and grabs him. He throws him against a building. Deadpool quickly looks up and draws his sword as Superman again charges at him. Superman gets impaled from Deadpool's sword. Superman quickly starts to feel weak because Deadpool's sword is also coated with Kryptonite. Superman takes a few steps back as Deadpool gets back on his feet. Deadpool starts to move towards him and tries to slice him with his sword again. Superman manages to dodges the sword strike and is able to throw a punch on him while doing so. Deadpool flies a good twenty feet but is able to get to his feet quickly. Superman gets Deadpool with his laser eyes but doesn't get a full hit on him. Deapool starts running towards him and shoots his gun while he does. It hits him on the shoulder. Superman continues to feel weaker. Meeting head on, Deadpool tries to get him with his sword but Superman dodges the strike. Superman gets a punch on him but it isn't very strong. Deadpool again tries his swords and is met with success as he gets him on his chest. Superman falls to the ground unable to continue fighting. Deadpool takes out his gun and shoots him in the head which ends Superman. Seeing as he won, Deadpool starts to walk away. But Deadpool suddenly remembers something.

"Almost forgot to chop off his balls," smirks Deadpool.

Deadpool does him business and returns to Luther to collect his bounty.

"Are you sure that he is died?" addresses Luther.

"Oh, yes, he is definitely dead," remarks Deadpool.

"Well, here is your reward then. Hope it helps you get your looks back," expresses Luther.

"It better," remarks Deadpool.

Now I'm going to end right there. What do you think the end results of the fight would be? Do you think that the world with change drastically without Superman? I have come to conclusion that it won't that much. The reason I believe this is because there is still plenty of heroes still left in the world. There is Batman, Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, Cyborg, and others. Perhaps you think differently and that is fine. Maybe I'm missing some things but I think I have made some good points. What do you think?


End file.
